Wednesday, January 25, 2012


So I did it. I decided to post a video of me singing on Youtube.

I'm not sure how I feel about it.

1. I sort of gave myself a crash course in how to use iMovie HD because I had never, EVER, used it before.
2. The recording isn't that high of quality. My dearest friend did it for me, but even she told me that she sort of messed up the settings and there is a freaking TRUCK THAT DRIVES BY in the middle of the song... Oh jesus maybe this was a bad idea.
3. I don't like having my voice open to the the endless peanut gallery that is Youtube commenters.

Reason #3 is really the biggest one I am afraid of. Like OMG afraid. I don't want to hear people tell me my Italian is lazy and that they can hear my placement change on the second phrase, or that my interpretation is wrong, or that I'm too young to be singing that aria, but meh.

The only thing that is true about opinions is that everyone has one.

And I've heard and seen so many Youtube singers that I know that I am just added to the oversaturatedness of it all, so no one is really going to hear it anyway.

It was sort of funny to Youtube myself and have other stuff come up too. A few videos from my Prelude to Performance "La Rondine" role are posted by the Prelude staff. I watched one and since my role is minor, I just kept thinking, "Stop moving your stupid head! That feather is so distracting while Magda is singing!" Evidence here ->

But there are a few others posted too, and I'm not completely angry with myself at the quality of the sound or how I look onstage. At least during the performance.  During the scenes concert when I am wearing heals onstage, I make this huge cross and I look like an football player with a midget in a tuxedo.
Evidence here at around 1:04
My singing wasn't very good that night either. But again, meh.

I have a lot on my mind tonight, as usual.  But before I get too carried away and start rambling, I am going to go ahead and post that damn video that I wrote this entire entry about.
Yes, they call me Mimi -

I feel that I am at the crossroads that almost everyone gets to.  I am looking for better jobs because the one I have right now is enough to pay the rent, but that's about it. I came across a job that was full-time as a receptionist for this great Broadway website in New York, and I love me some theater.  I was going to apply for it until I read the detail "If you have an active auditioning scheduling, do not bother applying."

Do not bother applying? I can even pretend that I would be able to work this job and pursue my career as a singer?

Then it hits me that this is essentially how all full-time jobs are going to be.  What job, other than a restaurant, will let you take off with less than a day's notice for an audition? ... Nothing other than possibly slightly illegal professional dungeons, and even then I'm sure they have some sort of policy against calling out last minute. But I do want health insurance and I want to be able to start saving for retirement and start investing in something other than the Starbucks tip jar.  What is a young singer to do?

I feel like I'm talented enough, but I don't have the time or the money right now to really invest in myself to completely focus on just my music. I really just can't. I want to. But can't. Which is extremely frustrating. I am trying to do better with the time I do have. I can make time to practice more and study on my own, I just wish I could find a young artist program or apprenticeship somewhere - I don't even care where - so I could just work on roles and arias and just perform all the time. That would be awesome.

Ok. I need to sleep and do more soul searching on the 'morrow. Night loves.

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